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Communication tip:

Use your ‘but’ – but just if you really want to!

The problem
Bad news: This tiny word ‘but’ causes many problems in communication. And here is the good news: You can solve them easily by using ‘and’ instead.

Example 1:
Imagine you have been at a three and a half hours session at your favourite hair stylist and after your spectacular presentation of the gorgeous result your friend says:
„Wow, that’s wonderful, but you could try it in green!“ (Umpf…)
And now try this friendly version:
„Wow, that’s wonderful, and you could try it in green!“ (smile, thank you)
So what feels better? Usually the second one.

Example 2:
“Your cactus has a lot of spines but mine has even more!”
“Your cactus has a lot of spines and mine has even more!”
You don’t want to sit on the cacti of both sentences – and (or in your case ‘but’?) the cacti in the second version sound more prickly.

Example 3:
“You did a great job but you could do even better!”
“You did a great job and you could do even better!”
Which version would you better like to hear? Probably the second.

The solution:
The tricky, mean thing with the inconspicuous word ‘but’ is, that it puts everything into question, what is said before it.
So just use it if you really want that effect! And if you just want to add another information: Use ‘and’ and you will get what you wanted.

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